Question Mark

Kembali dalam tanda tanya beripikir pada poin yang sama,jinjit pada tebing yang sama.Hatiku jadi batu memandang semua biasa.Aku menyusuri jejak tak berbayang yang tapaknya hanya nampak seperempat.Menunggu saat adrenalinku mulai menggebu memompa suasana.Mati pada pelatuk yang sama,tertancap peluru yang lebih runcing dan terbuai dalam lamunan langit abu abu.Takut sudah aku jinjing dari dulu dan sekarang semakin melebar,seperti membaca simbol pada huruf braile.Menegakkan dagu melihat hidup,menundukan kepala melihat neraka.Seketika bisa luar biasa sebentar jadi manusia.Masa ini seperti berpantonim dalam kaca.Harus kuat disokong baru aku terangkat,hei! sampai kapan?Aku rasa sudah cukup.

Sekarang melaju menuju spektrum.

Bukan Janji

Sudah selesai ,hampir selesai visual masa depan.

Sekejab saja selaju kucur air.

Melihat ke belakang berbayang terang tengok kedepan,mengapa buram?

Kemana harus berteriak saat semua hangat?

Beribarat dari biji tumbuh jadi taji.

Berikrar janji jadi benci.

Menakutkan saat angin berbicara seakan memukul tengkuk.

Mengerikan dikejar tanya.

Aku tertawa dalam tanya tidur dalam bimbang.Halnya aku malu pada ibu juga pada kayu.Bumi dapat kutopang , lautpun tertawa kencang.mengucap kata sesaat saja lantas aku jadi buta.Bermain dengan awan aku jatuh.Jika pipi merah merona kepunyaanku kering keriput.Aku suntuk berselisih dengan hati,hanya menjadi bulan bulanan jidatku.

Menjawab sendiri,mati serentak.

T

Merangkai tulisan atas dasar tali.Dia diam dalam satu simpul,masih sama seperti pertama berjumpa.Lenggangnya tetap sayu menyeret ombak.Suka tekun sampai tertegun melihat bintang.Paham betul dari cinta sampai luka,tertimbul suasana.Berhayal layaknya menuggu 7 bidadari.Ia egois karena punya dunia sendiri,kadang tertawa terkikik kadang menangis meringis. Matanya suka berputar berekspendisi mengedip malu jika tersipu lucunya sampai kadang dinding ikut merona.Kalau malam datang lemas katanya,buat perut bergidik ke jantung lantas hati tersanjung.

Dia,saya

Dia,aku

Dia,tita

Semua mau dia,dia,kamu,kamu,anda,anda.

Tak lepas berandai pada kapan.

Tak jera berandai pada waktu.

Tunggu,Dia

Tunggu,Anda

Tunggu,Kamu

Jembatannya baru runtuh latahnya,hilang menuju Selatan.Lihai menggaruk gatal memori masa lalu.Rangganya lagi pergi bertualang dalam gunung mencari cinta.Semua yang datang hanya bertamu,basa basi.Geramnya,"mereka tetek bengek." Tak pernah berhenti dengan kalau,yang diterjang hanya galau.

Dedicated for Tita Hapsari ,dear my beloved one

broken wings

tadinya sayapku kekar menyebar , warnanya kontras diujung tiap helai nya nampak memancar.Kamu datang belai tiap helainya , kamu kelitik tiap ujungnya. Lantas lepas warnanya mulai kusam memudar jadi rapuh dan kasar.tadinya aku bisa terbang sampai ke ujung biru bawa kamu terbang lepas , tapi aku jatuh.Hampir sayapku lepas sebelah.kau tau kamu yang buat itu.Aku coba bangun tapi masih terlalu sulit untuk menggerakan sayapku yang copot sebelah.Kamu mulai lagi susun setiap helai helai sayap rusakku.Kini warnanya merah kembali dan ternyata aku bisa mengepak lagi.baru hitungan detik aku terbang aku jatuh lagi.Sekarang kupotong sayap sayapku.

have i fallen for you?

ouYou know it's true, the roots that you've tried to wets is bloomed already.Every second , minutes , hours and days will be like alice's world. Taking a picture of myself, i lost somewhere around your veins. You gave me promises and loves. You blew my days off recently, like it's even not real to me.It was dark and transparent before and slowly it turns to red and white like roses in every valentine. Would you take me and lift me up into your own different world. I can't depict it. It's blurry by my own thoughts about you.Since the very first time i saw you , i'm enormously trying to get to you. Should i take it lightly? for heaven's sake i'll say no. Because i've fallen for you.

Ayam

Ia cantik dan riuh

Punya tawa indah sendu

Punya badan montok melon

Punya dada bulat pipih

Ia gaya dan binar

Punya tubuh lemas jatuh

Punya paha putih susu

Punya pantat padat kencang

Ia busuk dan 'santun'

Punya isi disembur keluar

Punya mulut licik lalai

Punya lagu hentak dig dag

Ia manis dan piaway berdempul

punya hati setebal dempulnya

punya raga disentor di atas meja

punya perut dibiarkan diraba

Ia masih tetap cantik

punya uang supaya nendang

punya sepatu supaya tinggi

punya susu supaya sadar

Ia belum berubah bukannya itu sama halnya yang dilakukan ayam-ayam?

tiring day

what a crazy hazy hectic day!Geez!Thank God i can have my teatime right now a glass of greentea accompanying me after all of the choreos made my day full of laughs made me forget all of my probs surrounding me.Today i went to campus which intended to attend the industrial meeting which is cancelled.One thing that i thanked for yesterday,Pampam (my friend) saved my morning,suddenly she called and offering me a ride.Ye haa coincidently the bus didn't stop at the bus station.I was really late when i went to the photography lab the class was over,i just signed my absence and then went to plaza to eat gado-gado the taste was not really good but i think it's quite good.I went home and i went to alamanda buy 2 sofas and a vacuum cleaner.When i got home,we (me,yolan,and regina) were doing the house thingy.It's damn exhausting but i was fun after all of everything we've done.I cooked chicken broccoli and fried eggs and then i tidied up my room by moving the table blah blah blah.

tea time

Now im sitting in the living room and having a late night tea time with my housemate which is regina.We're having a lil' conversations about life and love share everything head to head eyes to eyes.It's an unusual things.I do enjoying time like this,sadly tita inge and yolan aren't here yet.It would be perfect if they were here.Listening to songs.Im craving for snackhouse frankly but im just way too confused to decide what menu should i order.

untitled

Do ever think who you are?

Why were you born?

Why you've grown?

Do you ever think about gossips around you?

Are you blind enough to see?

Are you deaf enough to listen?

Is your make up as thick as your privates?

They're fed up.

They're done.

They're totally disguise you.

Please behave yourself

being careless and reckless aren't enough to hit up the fame.

being bitchy and sexy aren't satisfying anyone else.

Do you have to pull up your bra to make it 'pop'?

Do you have to show off what you got at the club?

and Do you think it was perfectly the way how to be a queen?

Dramatically it was awfully pathetic.

Was 'my' temper are high enough?

The liquor made me a little bit tipsy.

Oh Jesus somehow 'i' have to pretend that am high enough to see

Well 'i' don't even give a damn!

Why would you care?

They're all talking about 'me' behind my back.

'I' don't care!Cause what they think it's not good enough for me.

No one dare to fuck it in front off my face,they're all cowards

But pity you

No one would ever do that,cause apparently they're all loath of being talk to you.

Cause you're a total bitch.

An obsessed girl to who you know

:)

it's been so long i didn't look up at my blog.Well hello guys whoever you are who read my blog so much thanks for reading mine's.

There is no time

There is no time, We’ll never know about tomorrow. We are all live in mystery, mystery of question marks. What are we searching for? You. I know you love me so much and so do I ,I hurt you so bad with my limits. I am limited. I’m conditionally limited. I am so sorry. I am wishing every single day since I found you. If I could live by your side every single day , your exhaled breath buzzing on my ears , your inhaled breath when your asleep. I’d like to make myself believe that I can give you my best. Does it broken? No. There’s no time to say I love you cause I’m too scared that I might lose you that I might go nowhere. It’s Iike I’m magically stoned on the spot where our minds as one. Why does this feeling comes through my mind,you are running through my brain. Lucifer might win the temptations to hate, to makes us confused , to make us separated. Believe in me it’s just on our mind. We are believing on each other that’s why does love becomes everlasting. Don’t put too much hopes on me and I’m not saying that I might cheat on you. This is me with my limits. I am surely know you noticed it and I’m exactly know you are understand. Our love is just hanging by a thread, but I’ll sew it up to become a long sturdy string. I am trying . I will try. There is no time, I love you right here right now cause you know what? I always afraid of tomorrow.

Rupa

Rupa

Senja

Selalu terdiam bisu menatap nestapa

Bercumbu dengan angin

Menyapu dingin

Terlalu samar untuk diraba

Terlalu buta untuk disapa

Kalau ada dewi perangkai bunga duri

Jangan jadikan aku kalungnya

Sudah cukup perih disini

Rupa

Malam

Selalu teriak pada bulan

Bersenggama dengan bising

Terjelaga dalam dosa

Jika ada Engkau mengizinkan

Biarkan aku tetap sendiri di sini menanti mentari

Tapi jangan biarkan aku meratap kosong

Rupa

Selasa

Tekuk sepiku ini.

trip to PAVI

well what a tiring day,phew..

i came to campus today as usual began with alfred's class on monday which is creative studies.I thought we will stuck on the class and do the lesson as usual,but suddenly alfred got a phonecall and told us it urgent,we should go to pavillion to accompanied the diploma class to make a deepavillion,it's like an indian art.So there's a picture on the floor cover with a plain carton,divided randomly and we have to colour it with coloured rice.It was fun,but then there's someone annoyed me so much,she's kind but she's freak,totally..phew..The worst part is we finished at 6.00 but the bus came around 7.30 There are two bus,1st is for the desarian,the 2nd is for the cyberian.The lecture said so,but...

grh..

When we just passed the cyberia highway,i didn't even think that the bus will go straight to Limkokwing,i thought they will dropped us in cyberjaya.argh luckily in a few minutes the rapid Kl bus arrived in front of limkokwing.I didn't angry too much..

what an exhausting day..

1st day in Bangkok

next chapter: Bangkok!

Hello guys,the next chapter is bangkok,then after we arrived in Herritage Hotel,our luggages were putted on the hotel cause we couldn't check in,check in time is around 12 o clock,we decided to take a walk around Silom road and we ate a pork porridge,and finally we went to the lake side of bangkok,we payed about 500 bath to rent a boat to side seeing bangkok.We should've go to floating market,but since it's too far we decided to look around.This is the worst part ever,when i was on the boat,i took so many bangkok's panomas but then it crashed suddenly without any partucular reason then my camera won't work till now.Luckily the photos that taken from the very first day still in the memory card.Thank God.Then we went back to the hotel around 12 o clock,but the room still not available.So we ate a duck noodle in front of our hotel.it wasn't really good,we checked in and then we took a nap till the night came through.After asked a few questions about bangkok we decided to go to Suan Lum Night bazar,it's like a night bazar full of clothing stores,they sell so many uniqe clothes with a reasonable price.I bought some t-shirts and then we were take a look around till 11.It so exhausting!then we went back to our hotel..

next story : 2nd day in Bangkok!

Ao Nang

a week a go i had a trip to thailand with my buddies,inge and tita!Thailand was so great,i really like to be there it was a precious gift from my mom and dad,that they let me go to thai.On the first day we stayed at Ao Nang (Krabi) what a small city but full of people,nightlife,activities,etc.I like thai foods it taste really great,like egg pancake,pad thai noodles,tom yum,pineapple fired rice and many more.We took a tour to phi2 island,chicken island,turtle,and i forgot the others.we snorkled twice,we snorkled on the middle of the ocean,we could stand on the stone and the fishes are so variative.We really enjoyed the tour that day,on the second day we took another trip to hong island which cost 1000 bath = 300.000 rp.It wasn't really good,we're bored cause we just sat down on the island and did the sunbathing.Well,we could see animals which look similiar to komodo but it's smaller.Supposedly we took another night in Ao Nang,but since there's nothing to do anymore besides eating,so we decided to take a bus to Bangkok on the third day.It took like maybe 8 hours,and i can't sleep on the bus.Gosh a japanesse girl who sitted beside me was too annoying.She made a small movements which is really-really annoying for me,but then after we arrived in Bangkok,thank God.Cause that trip was make me so weary.Then,we took a taxi to find our hotel,which located in Baan Silom(Silom Road).it's nice,clean and the furnitures are uniqe..

the story to be continued...

;)

cyberians

now i'm layed on my bed and nothing to do.hey!this is weekend!i should've gone somewhere hang out in anywhere.Oh yea,btw im new in town here in Cyberia.Everything looks perfect.Being a cyberian in cyberia is not an easy way,you have to adapt or else you'll feel like you're isolated in nowhere.The gossipers,the dramaqeens,fakers,the giggs,and the couples.Here i always start my new days in e 38 b.

everytime i go home, i always want to say ' home sweet home '

a small room on the 1st floor in this townvilla is the one and only my room,which is the smallest size of other masters or singles and a missing window on my room,what a pity.I always love my small room,even though no space to dance or aerobic.it really cozy for me to sleep,eat and cry here.

We're happy family,even though i'm new here with my old friends tita and inge.They are so kind!with the other housemates yolan and regina.i feel like we're one big family,we have our own characteristics.

I love the foods in here delicious and achievable.Lucky lucky me,i got my room in e 38 b.

Next chapter of the cyberia tales will be continued..

she is

Now we are separated in time and distance

Those memories reminds me of you

it's hard to believe and

when i think about you

i always feel blue

my head said 'you wicked to me'

my heart said 'you're everything to me'

pale and smooth

beauty and innocent

you spout out my thirst

you brighten my days here

like first message i sent it to you

those pucker on your lips

those flat pony

it's truly reminds me of you

what i really want to

i am here alone in a big country Malaysia,here i am studying at limkokwing university.A lot of things and works to do here,i really-really want to make studies in limkokwing so fast,i want to have a good job with a good salary.It's not kind of bullshit i really want to prove to anybody that i am capable of.When life gets hard it means we have to struggle more to adapt.So i won't be the one who eleminate from this hard life.Here i am laying down on my bed,thinking and imagining something fun and different from the other common things.Im not kind of person who easily to adapt on new environment i always think people's responses to me.it's kind a weird but i can't erase it from my mind.Whatever the conds i'll try my best!

for mom and dad

bali

bali trip!

aaaaw!so many to tells to..

well when it wasn't the best trip to bali ever..but it's okay.

I went to bali witth my families,big big families.

the story will be continued tomorrow!

i am sleepy just arrives at home.

open my blogger..at least i wrote something..

hahha..

bye see ya tomorrow!

Appreciation for those fashion people

A trend would've never have endings.I just saw to many people confident with themselves hanging out with a fabulous outfit which good,well sometimes it looks eccentric but it's okay.Sometimes they sacrificing their own money just to buy those label or fashion things.I don't do prada,i don't do louis vuitton,i don't do bally and others glamour labels.I think when they really like it,and they enjoy it to fit on their bodies it's what called fashion and i think fashion is relatives it's just too many types of fashion.Those who really like fashion are all fabulous,cause most likely they are being themselves.